In awe and wonder.

At night, when I'm putting Danny to bed, I am still fascinated by how much I love him. To the point that sometimes it physically hurts my heart, but in the best way possible. And I still get teary eyed when I sit and stare in complete awe at this little person in my arms.

Then I wonder how many times he has heard me say "I love you" or if it would even be possible to count the number of kisses I've given him.

Putting him to bed is such a nice quiet time. It is the only time he snuggles. He curls right in for his bedtime bottle, and then slowly falls asleep. I love listening to the change in his breathing. From the quickness of chasing him into pajamas and getting him ready for bed, to the utter and complete relaxation by the time I put him in his crib.

It is such a privilege to squeeze him everyday and just love something so completely and unconditionally.

Rants & Raves

I am behind on birthday gifts. My sisters in July (there's a good reason...), the twins in September, and Brendan's from early November. Fortunately, I have them all...they just need to be distributed...before I get behind again.

I don't talk to my friends enough on the phone. I live in a basement that does not have reception. This means, that the extent of my phone calls is limited mostly to my drives to and from work (about 15-min each way). Especially for those friends that are not local and I need my cellphone plan for the long distance.

I don't care who you are, do not, under any circumstance, talk to my son while he is in his highchair and remotely interested in food. I know I joke that he's my little chubster, but the kid does not eat. To the point that his daycare comments on it! And if he is mildly interested in his food, and you distract him, just know that in my head, you've been tackled and beaten to a pulp.

I love that Danny dances. He wiggles to his favorite Baby Einstein songs and gets so excited at some of the images. Baby Galileo is his favorite DVD.

For anyone out there that thought that Baby Einstein would make your kids smarter and are on the bandwagon of getting money back for your DVD's...you're an idiot. And while I don't think Baby Einstein will make Danny a candidate for Mensa, I do know that it captivates his attention and watching a video about words, numbers, and animals isn't going to make him any less intelligent.

One of my favorite routines with him is before and after his bath, we listen to music (Q104 of course). He really gets a kick out of this...and we dance, and I'm sure I look like a goofball, but his smiles are the best.

When I'm really tired, in the middle of the night, I have a horrible habit of waking Dave up. Either by sitting straight up like a rocket and talking to him, only to go "never mind" and fall back asleep, or last night, I grabbed his face. At least I said sorry. Good thing I did...because he seemed kind of mad about it! Of course, I never remember doing this until he tells me in the morning, and then I can't stop laughing. About two months ago, I woke up convinced there was a giant white boa constrictor on his dresser, and even though I realized I was dreaming and said "never mind", he still made me look under the bed with a flashlight. Have I ever mentioned how much he doesn't like snakes?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Family, food and fun...that doesn't involve finding the "perfect gift".

I'm ready to sell my dog on eBay. I love him to death, but he is under our feet in the kitchen ALL THE TIME.

Dave's mom might be the smallest and most petite person on earth, but she sounds like an elephant when she goes up and down stairs or walks in the kitchen. This is especially noticeable at night. Thank goodness I can tease her about it :)

Lots of things annoy me.

I don't like poker. I don't get the hype and I just don't think it's fun.

I don't like the TV on while eating dinner. I think this is one of those rules my mom had that I thought was annoying, but I totally get it now.

I love my job. It stresses me out and makes me go all "banana hannah" sometimes, but I figure that's got to better then being bored and hating my job. Who knew Office Supplies and Copiers would be so fulfilling?

Sometimes I'm surprised I'm not on blood pressure medication. Counting my blessings that it's always good whenever it's checked. According to my husband, I can afford to "take it down a notch". If this isn't the pot calling the kettle black, then I don't know what is. Get in a car with him for 10-minutes and we'll see who needs to take a chill pill.

I'm still waiting for "Bridget" arms. Where are they? I've been lugging this little boy around for 14-months, and I still have flabby bat wings. If you don't know Bridget, she had Michelle Obama arms before you even knew who Michelle Obama was. And I'm jealous. "Bridget arms" define perfection.

More to come....

Flu Shots = Sleepless Nights = Unbelievable Love

Have I ever mentioned what a ROCK STAR my son is when it comes to getting ANY shots? He is so good. Most times, he barely makes a peep. Even at his 1-year appointment when he received 4-shots, only two big crocodile tears welled up in his eyes, and that was that.

We always make his well check appointments for late Friday afternoons or first thing Saturday mornings. This keeps him from being fussy at daycare the following day. I love the girls that take care of him, and even though he's generally good after shots, you just never know.

Back in October he received his regular flu shot on a Saturday. He was fine the rest of the day, and then OK Saturday night. But Sunday night into Monday, he was awful. He went down just fine, and then he woke up in the middle of the night. He would only sleep if I held him, and he would not go back into his crib.

I've never been an advocate for letting Danny cry it out. I just couldn't do it. As he's gotten older, and I know his signals, there are times when I'll let him cry for 5-minutes, and then he'll be sound asleep. If he's still crying, I'll go in and get him. Some people might call me a sucker. I'm inclined to believe that among the worst pains in my life, hearing Danny cry for us, hurts my heart above all else.

Well, back in October, if I would have let him go for 5-minutes, the WHOLE house would have been up. Let's not forget we live with Dave's parents, and that his grandma lives here too...so there are a lot of other people to consider.

We made it through the night, but on the condition that I held him mostly by walking around. He would snore. But at the first attempt to sit, he would start to cry. I couldn't even think of putting him back to bed. Needless to say, I stopped and got myself a HUGE Diet Coke on my way into work.

Danny received the H1N1 shot on Thursday after work. His pediatrician had the shot, and that was when they could get us in. So, we jumped at the chance.

Thursday night he was good. Friday during the day he was OK at school. Last night, not so much. He woke up around 12:30, and it was an immediate holler. After a diaper change (he was wet), and a warm bottle, I thought we would be good to go. I had forgotten about October's flu shot sleeping fiasco.

Until it replayed last night.

I sat with him for 30-minutes in my arms while he snored. Only to put him back into his crib and have him MELT DOWN. We did this all night. We moved from the glider in his room, to the couch, to the floor of his room, to my bed, back to the glider, and to the couch again. He would sleep laying on me. And snore. But the few times I attempted to put him back into his bed, MELT DOWN CITY.

Dave tried to help. At one point I handed Danny to him, and he was all but apoplectic. If Danny was going to sleep, it was going to be ON ME. And that meant we were walking, laying, sitting, or swaying...we were trying our best.

And even though he was in a deep sleep, if he heard Dave coming to check on us, he woke up and freaked out. When I was able to get him to sleep ON ME in my bed, I thought I was in heaven...until he stretched his arm, hit Dave and MELTED again.

This is so out of character. And it has only happened twice. Both times, it was the second night after a flu shot. I'm really looking forward to his second dose in December. Yes, the week of Christmas.

Finally, at 7:15, I threw the towel in and gave him to Dave so I could jump in the shower before the day started. By the time I got out, the lights in the basement were on. Danny was running around with a giant smile and gave me huge hugs like the marathon sleeping event had never happened. Part of me wanted to scream, "SERIOUSLY???!!!". But this time, I melted. So cheesy, I know...but have you seen those dimples?

He is the light of our lives. And even though I'm really tired (and going to bed right after I finish this), there is no better feeling in the world then knowing that when all he really wanted was to be held so he could sleep, we were there to hold him. Those opportunities are going to be gone someday, so I am grabbing at every chance I can.

Life doesn't get better then that.

Now, say a prayer that we don't have a repeat tonight....

Babies...Babies...Babies...

The past few weeks have been a flurry of good news. Two of my cousins have had babies. Welcome to the world Abigail Rose and Ryker Joseph. We are so happy that you have joined our goofy family. This year, there will be four, yes I said 4 babies, under the age of 6-months at the Annual Cousin Christmas Party. What a blessing.

Several of my friends are due to have babies as well. Jen, my coworker, at this point, I am just waiting for the call. Every day I pull in and I'm looking to find her car. She is due in less then two-weeks. I can hardly stand it. She is quite possibly the cutest pregnant person I have ever met.

Karen, well, she is equally adorable and is due to have her Christmas miracle...well, on Christmas. Karen is a friend that I met online after we lost Angela. Coincidentally, she lives in Cleveland, and we work for the same company. Karen had been pregnant with "hyphen", but miscarried. She was due to have a baby on July 17, 2007. Same day as Angela's birthday. Our friendship was meant to be. Last year, Karen lost another pregnancy right around Christmas. This year, she is due to have a little girl on Christmas. That's why she is a Christmas miracle.

Gretchen is due with baby number two in April. She is such a dear friend of mine, there are just no words to describe the happiness I felt when I found out her good news.

Megan just announced she is due to have a baby in June. How awesome to have two in two!

And I have a secret friend out there who is also due....but I don't know when. She's still a secret.

All of these babies. All of these blessings. There is nothing that brings a bigger smile to my face then the announcement of a new pregnancy. Honestly, I usually cry because I am just so over joyed with happiness for my friend and their husband.

So here I have this growing list of friends and babies to pray for. Please keep them all in your thoughts for safe and healthy pregnancies, deliveries, and a lifetime of good health and happiness. Nothing has become more important to me that this.

And of course, people ask me CONSTANTLY about our next little one. We definitely plan to expand our family. Just not yet. Let me move into our new place for a while...and settle...before I shake it all up again!

Melting Down and Warming Up

Danny is developing quite a personality. It seems like a switch was flipped as soon as he learned how to walk. Now, if you pick him up against his wishes, he thrashes until I set him down again. Usually this occurs when I'm removing him from the bathroom (loves to lift the toiletseat), or when I catch him as he is running right past the stairs to the basement. The super steep stairs that don't have a gate. This also happens a lot when we're out at the house. Sometimes I can let him walk around, other times, I can't because of the debris lying on the floor.

I'm sure my future neighbors think I'm a great mom while they watch me throw him under my arm, like I'm carrying a rolled up carpet, and walk him down the driveway. A driveway he would like to walk down himself, but can't yet because it's too steep, and he tips forward. So I figure the under the arm is better then a trip to the ER.

There are so many things I'm learning. It's like a continuous course in patience. Meal times are getting better. I've learned that by only putting one thing down at a time, I have better chances of him eating. If I really want him to eat the chicken, I need to start there...and that's when I have the most success. Other times, he'll be eating right along, and then decide he's done with that menu item and just spit it of his mouth. Visualize mashed potatoes being oozed out. He has the ability to make that face and discard food that way with just about everything.

He eats a lot of cut up tomatoes, pears, applesauce, goldfish, cheerios, and now one prune a day. I'm sure an explanation for the prunes isn't required. He is a huge milk drinker. To the point that sometimes I have to "trick" him, and give him half milk and half water. It might sound mean to anyone else, but warmed up, it does the trick! If it were up to Danny, he would drink about 64-ounces of milk a day. And that ladies and gentleman, contributed to the prunes!

So, it's milk or water, but no juice. We tried to slip him some apple juice a few weeks ago when we were having "issues", but you would have thought he was drinking battery acid. So even though I'm of the frame of mind that juice is not necessary because it's full of sugar and will rot his teeth, he won't drink it anyway.

I've enjoyed one full out temper tantrum. It occurred on Monday. I was taking him to the park and carried him upstairs (rolled up carpet style) with an empty sippy cup. He was freaking out for the sippy cup, and tried to drink it...even though it was empty. So, I took it from him to put water in the cup, and holy $hit, did all hell break loose! He was all but apoplectic! I had to lay him down on the tile kitchen floor because I was afraid he was going to give himself a concussion. I mean this kid was screaming and crying and giant tears! The biggest, saddest tears I've ever seen. I was kind of in awe by the display. Then grateful I was at home and not in public. Then really grateful only I was home. This was a scene meant for Jerry Springer...not Susie Shafer. I am very much aware that this is just a taste of what's to come.

With all of that said (or written), the absolutely most frustrating meltdown is when Danny is so tired and is crying to be held , so I pick him up, and then he thrashes and cries to get out of my arms...only to get more hysterical once I set him down, so then I pick him up again. Lather, Rinse and Repeat. In these moments, I thank God for my patience, because before Danny, I would not have been able to handle this gracefully. Although, I'm not sure how graceful I handle it now. Maybe the grace is that we're all still in one piece?

With all of the above, I must add some positive highlights.

He loves music. He watched an Elmo sing along last week, and danced and bopped around, and clapped his hands, and was so excited. I about melted. I was almost more fascinated with the fact that the DVD looked like it was filmed in the 70's. Crazy.

He has learned to give kisses. Sometimes this is an all out open mouth wet kiss...and other times it's a lean forwad and bop his face towards yours. Kisses are the best though. Until it turns in to a wet kiss and biting of the nose. Watch out for this. I sometimes get so caught up in the warm and fuzzy of the kiss, that before I know it, he's teething on my nose.

And last, I will sign off with another heart warmer. Danny loves his walks in the red car. Most of the time, Dave and I are holding hands, and I'm pushing Danny. Well, a couple of weeks ago, Danny saw us holding hands...and immediately lifted his hand up to Dave's to hold while walking. So, I'm pushing the car, and Danny and Dave are holding hands. Danny just looks at Dave the whole time. And of course, I'm trying not to cry because it's just the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

This is what gives me the patience during the meltdown.

Some New Pics of Danny

It's been a while since I've posted a few of Danny. This morning he woke up with bed head the resembled a Rooster/Mohawk.

From Danny October 2009

From Danny October 2009

From Danny October 2009

That's Life

We have been busy the last few weekends and during the week. Danny, the house, work, weekends, birthdays, and more. I keep thinking everything will slow down...but it doesn't. And our lives are no different then everyone elses.

Danny is so busy. He is not a cuddler. Unless he's really sick...and I mean like really sick. And being a limp noodle doesn't count. He is always on the go. No relaxing for him. No snuggle time in the morning when he wakes up. No pause during the day to just chill and relax with me or Dave and watch a cartoon. Nothing. He'll sit for about two seconds. Then he'll want to get down, then back up, then down, back up...and the game of playing continues. And he doesn't like when you're out of his site. This makes trying to get some chores done difficult.

This week he transferred from the infant nursery to the toddler nursery. He is getting to be such a big boy! They said that he LOVES being in the gym and just runs around. Next week it will be full time. This week, it was just a few hours a day. We are both sad to see him leave the girls in the infant room. He loves them and so do we. We are hoping we have as good of luck in the next room.

Not a super exciting post today. We're all a little tired around here getting over colds and coughs. Ugh.

Happy Fall!