Tired.

So, yesterday, Dave said to me, "you know...you've been tired a lot more this pregnancy then before". I don't know why this truth made me feel so defeated, but it did. I have been tired. I've taken some more naps. And honestly, I don't always feel that great. I seem to get a doozy of a headache more often, the kind that feels like a pebble just sitting on a brain vessel and throbbing. Naps seem to help. Silence is good. And I know I can take Tylenol, but I choose not to. I had to take a lot of stuff when I had the sinus infection, and that really was warranted. This, this feels manageable.

Food most often doesn't sound good. Poor Dave. My idea of dinner is a baked potato. My sense of smell is so keen that at Giant Eagle today, the smell of one of the samples almost sent me out the front doors. If I do eat, it's not much. Or, it makes me nauseous.

The things I want to eat, are crap! For example, the ultimate pregnancy craving for me is potato chips with cream cheese. YUM!!! This was a childhood snack and has made it's return for both pregnancies! Or, Pillsbury crescent rolls :) Or the Hershey's Take Five that I bought and ate on the sly today :) Like I need to hear it from Dave that I keep saying nothing sounds good, and then I eat that :)

Right now, I am attributing the tiredness to stress, or the relief of stress. The test last week just took the wind out of my sails. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. This past week my friend Gretchen's son Sam had surgery. It didn't go as well as expected, and now he's in the hospital for 7-10days. This just broke my heart for them. Gretchen and I had the same due date, which makes Sam extra special to me. Sam has had so much trouble eating and crying and in pain. And I hurt for them that it got this far before someone properly diagnosed it. Than God they were relentless in seeking care. And while I am devastated that Angela is not here, I never saw her in pain, and Gretchen has only seen Sam in pain for almost 4-months. I know the sun is around the corner for them, and the good days will be coming, and that hopefully a few weeks from now, Sam will be comfortable and the happy little boy he is. I just wish my friend did not have to go through this. Like I know she wishes the same for David and I. She will be so excited when I tell her we're pregnant! On the phone today, I mentioned how I didn't feel great yesterday, and she said all excited "ooh...maybe you're pregnant?". Of course I wanted to scream "Oh YES I AM!" but I refrained.

A bachelorette party that I had helped plan was supposed to be last night. But you can thank the lovely Cleveland weather for dumping 20"+ of snow over the weekend for cancelling that. I think this contributed to my stress headache. Fortunately, we have been able to reschedule for next weekend, which will be a lot of fun.

And finally, today is March 9th. A year ago today I took my first positive pregnancy test. When I think of the year that has passed. All the good and bad, well, that takes the wind out of my sails too.

We are so lucky to have the lives we do. To be pregnant again. To know the excitement our families will feel when we tell them. To be healthy.