Best News Ever (so far)!!!

Yesterday, we received the best news! First from UH that the NT Scan went great. To quote the doctor, he said "textbook perfect".

Then, when we got home, Sheila from Metro called to give us our CVS results :) The chromosome picture came back great! The DNA test for the OI came back negative! And...we're having a BOY!!!! I'm just stunned!

The news was so overwhelming at first. I swear, weeks of stress just melted right off of me, and David and I cried. We just hugged each other and smiled. It was the best. The best!

David, the one who has been "Mr. Patient" was telling me he had to shower. We were trying to figure out dinner, and I was like, "I'll still bake the chicken, etc."

Now, he was then "Mr. Impatient" telling me, "Oh no, we gotta tell people today!". I loved it. I was so excited because I was ready to go. So, we grabbed Subway, made the rounds (I'll write about that later) and didn't get home until 11:00 PM.

I didn't sleep last night. Just so excited. Kept waking up to having dreams that I was telling people it was a BOY.

We are obviously realistic enough at this point to realize that all these good results don't guarantee us anything. And that until we have a healthy baby in our hands, there will be some nerves. But, we're taking the highroad today and celebrating our excitement :)

I'll post the pictures soon. He was moving around like a sea monkey yesterday for the ultrasound! It was great!

11W3D -- Appointment Today

We had a good appointment today. Unfortunately we had to wait almost an hour. This is a disadvantage with our new doctor. She's popular. I scheduled her first appointment of the day for our next one in April. Hopefully this means it will start on time.

We heard the heartbeat today. It took a few minutes (literally) for her to find it which was stressful. While she was looking, we at least heard that "swoosh" noise of the baby moving around. I was ready to break out the ultrasound machine that was next to me. I was able to record this baby's heartbeat on my phone too. I have Angela's recorded and saved.

I have gained four pounds. I don't believe this to be true because I barely eat! And, the other day I was down two pounds! Well, I need figure this out because I'm in a wedding in three weeks!!!! As I'm typing this, I look like I have a fat gut. Maybe I did gain weight. Crap!!!

Next Tuesday is our NT scan. And all the other results from last weeks testing should be in by the end of next week. Telling the family in only a matter of days!! That will be fun.

I asked the doctor about my headaches. She said that 1) I need to eat and 2) I need to drink. And that by the time I'm thirsty, it's already too late, and the headache might kick in. So, I'll be drinking more water starting tomorrow. I thought I was already drinking enough. A side from chocolate milk (low fat) and gingerale, it's all I drink!

Oh, and the other dumb question I asked her was if I could use a tanning lotion before Jen's wedding so that I'm not the pasty white girl. She said I could, but didn't really seem keen on it. She just said I should make sure it's ok or read the ingredients. So I asked her if there was one she recommended, and she said "No." Dave thought that was so funny because my doctor is "brown" as my co-worker Bridget would say (Brig is brown too!), so why would she recommend a self-tanner. Well, my response to him is that I'm sure she has a rainbow of patients, and I'm a pasty girl! I can't fancy I'm the first person that has ever asked this question in the history of the world. Bridget will get a chuckle out of this one when I can finally tell her.

So that's that. I'll try to figure out how to post the heartbeat video/audio.

Two of our three March appointments are over. Looking forward to wrapping up early next week and then letting the good news flow!

Tired.

So, yesterday, Dave said to me, "you know...you've been tired a lot more this pregnancy then before". I don't know why this truth made me feel so defeated, but it did. I have been tired. I've taken some more naps. And honestly, I don't always feel that great. I seem to get a doozy of a headache more often, the kind that feels like a pebble just sitting on a brain vessel and throbbing. Naps seem to help. Silence is good. And I know I can take Tylenol, but I choose not to. I had to take a lot of stuff when I had the sinus infection, and that really was warranted. This, this feels manageable.

Food most often doesn't sound good. Poor Dave. My idea of dinner is a baked potato. My sense of smell is so keen that at Giant Eagle today, the smell of one of the samples almost sent me out the front doors. If I do eat, it's not much. Or, it makes me nauseous.

The things I want to eat, are crap! For example, the ultimate pregnancy craving for me is potato chips with cream cheese. YUM!!! This was a childhood snack and has made it's return for both pregnancies! Or, Pillsbury crescent rolls :) Or the Hershey's Take Five that I bought and ate on the sly today :) Like I need to hear it from Dave that I keep saying nothing sounds good, and then I eat that :)

Right now, I am attributing the tiredness to stress, or the relief of stress. The test last week just took the wind out of my sails. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. This past week my friend Gretchen's son Sam had surgery. It didn't go as well as expected, and now he's in the hospital for 7-10days. This just broke my heart for them. Gretchen and I had the same due date, which makes Sam extra special to me. Sam has had so much trouble eating and crying and in pain. And I hurt for them that it got this far before someone properly diagnosed it. Than God they were relentless in seeking care. And while I am devastated that Angela is not here, I never saw her in pain, and Gretchen has only seen Sam in pain for almost 4-months. I know the sun is around the corner for them, and the good days will be coming, and that hopefully a few weeks from now, Sam will be comfortable and the happy little boy he is. I just wish my friend did not have to go through this. Like I know she wishes the same for David and I. She will be so excited when I tell her we're pregnant! On the phone today, I mentioned how I didn't feel great yesterday, and she said all excited "ooh...maybe you're pregnant?". Of course I wanted to scream "Oh YES I AM!" but I refrained.

A bachelorette party that I had helped plan was supposed to be last night. But you can thank the lovely Cleveland weather for dumping 20"+ of snow over the weekend for cancelling that. I think this contributed to my stress headache. Fortunately, we have been able to reschedule for next weekend, which will be a lot of fun.

And finally, today is March 9th. A year ago today I took my first positive pregnancy test. When I think of the year that has passed. All the good and bad, well, that takes the wind out of my sails too.

We are so lucky to have the lives we do. To be pregnant again. To know the excitement our families will feel when we tell them. To be healthy.

Two Weeks +/- a Few Days

Today was a big day. I actually slept well last night. This was a surprise for me considering how poor I've been sleeping, and how anxious I've been about this test. When we had the amnio, it was within 24-hours of knowing we needed it. This appointment has been scheduled for two-weeks, and we've known we would get it since November.



The day started just fine. We were getting ready to go and vote early, and my sister called. I stopped in my tracks thinking "How does she know?". She just called to tell me to turn on Fox News because they were at Ohio University for election coverage. This brief conversation calmed my nerves. It was like an angelic intervention that made me think, "OK. She doesn't know, but she called...so that is a good luck sign".



We got to Metro early. At about 8:20 AM. Our appointment was at 9:00 AM. We met with our counselor, and she just covered the basics and told us what we already knew. At this time, I was told to drink 20 ozs of water. Which I was. You need a full bladder to do the ultrasound. So, we wrapped up with her at 9:20 and then went back to the waiting room. By this time, I had to pee. Metro is a unique hospital. Half the patients in the waiting room should have been in high school study hall...but I digress.

So, they called us back at 10:00 AM. The did an ultrasound on the bean, and boy was s/he moving all over the place! It was hilarious looking. It was such a relief to see that s/he was moving and still had a heartbeat. I guess that was the first hurdle for the day. After they were were assured that the bean was over 10-weeks (minimum age for this test), our doctor came in. She had to do the ultrasound before they got started. And this was funny because I really had to pee, but I didn't want to complain. I had even said to Dave that between the cold gel on my belly and them going up my "Who-who", I was bound to burst. Two seconds after she looked at the ultrasound, she gave me a cup and told me I could pee until the cup was full. She said my bladder was so full (hey, I follwed the directions!) that she was afraid I would pee on her!
So, I filled the cup, and felt much better. It's not easy to start peeing, and then stop midstream. I dare you to try it :)

The procedure wasn't bad. Dave was great as usual. He was so supportive all week when I told him my nerves were getting to me. Sometimes, it was funny, because he knows more then most men should know. I had told him at one point that a girl on the boards described it like getting a Pap. So, Dave reassured me and said, "this will be a walk in the park. Like getting a Pap. You just had that done. No big deal." Or, I would say, "they are going to stick a needle up my who-who", and he would just reassure me that I would be fine. This man is terrified of needles! But, he was great. He told me what I needed to hear. He held my hand, said he loved me, and you cannot ask for more then that.

The good thing is they took two samples. One to do the chromosomal testing. One to do the DNA testing. By taking both, they are able to run the tests in parallel versus one, then sending the genetics to Seattle. Our doctor used to play doubles with the doctor in Seattle, and she called him "Brilliant". That's always reassuring. She also was going to hand deliver my samples to UH today. She had an appointment over there. She actually told us she'll be joining UH in May as the director of fetal imaging. So, if we ever do this again, we can stick to UH.

Dr. Corteville has the best statistics in Cleveland. She's wonderful, and extremely nice. We both like her a lot.

Metro is a special place though. After the procedure, I had to go get blood drawn. This is done in case the bean is a girl. They need to make sure that they are testing her DNA and not mine. Well, the waiting room smelled like an ethnic party, and that's being nice. I felt like I was on Disney's "It's a Small World". To make the situation even more "special", there was the mother of a 13-year girl (and she only turned 13 in December) that was 25-weeks pregnant. Dave and I were like Oh My God! This lady is broadcasting it to the world on the phone about how her daughter is pregnant, etc. Yeah, the mom is only 30. I'll be 30 in 24-days, and the thought of having a 13-year just about sent me over the edge.

So far I feel great. I have to take my temperature twice a day for a week to make sure I don't get a fever (infection). I can't lift anything more then 5-pounds. And no running for a week. But, she did say I could do the bike in a few days.

Once we got home, Dave made lunch and then I took a 3-hour nap. I was pooped. I woke up to Dave making dinner, isn't he wonderful? He made chicken parm from scratch! Then we watched the Disney movie "Enchanted".

It's 8:30, and I'm going to call it a night. Back to work tomorrow. So excited to know that we will have so much information in just a few weeks! Then, we can spill the beans :)

A letter to our Angel

Dear Angela -

Tomorrow is a big day, and we need all of your strength. I'll be wearing you close to my heart tomorrow, and holding you close over the next few weeks. We have thought about you so much. Being pregnant again is a daily reminder of what we have lost...but we are making the most of it, and really are happy. We know we are blessed to have you as our guardian angel.

You've been with us for our first two appointments, and we plan to keep you close for all of them.

Loving you always...

9W = Meltdown

I don't feel "tired". I have never felt "pregnancy exhaustion". Call me lucky. Call me what you want. But today, I must be a bit hormonal. I was looking at baby names online. Specifically at Saints names. There is a name that we like for the middle name, if we have a girl. And when I looked it up under the saints name, the meaning was "God has mercy". Well that just took my breath away and brought the tears to my eyes. How beautiful and meaningful is that?

I know that for today, and in the moment, we are very blessed to be pregnant again. We know, and we are not trying to be pessimistic, that this still does not guarantee a baby in 7-months. However, I would like to think that if this baby is meant to be held in our in our arms for years to come, and not just in our hearts, then God has given mercy on us. I've had my moments with Him for the last few months, and I know there is no shame in that. I know it's a part of the "normal" emotional roller coaster we have endured during the grieving process. But it never feels good to be on the "outs" with God. I might not be the best church going Catholic, but I do have faith, and I have many moments, and I know God listens, and that I don't need to be in His house on Sunday to be in His good graces.

Back to the meltdown. I lost it after a haircut today. Lost it. I didn't like the way it was done in November, and apparently that set me up for disaster. She layered my hair, but used a razor, and made the ends look thin and my hair overall frizzy. Short of chopping my hair off, there's not much I can do but wait it out. In addition to that, my color is awful. I haven't had it done since October 8th (I'm a human calendar), and I can't get it done again until after the first trimester. So, I at least have an appointment for March 29th, and I blocked extra time, because this one is going to be a doozy. I used to have BEAUTIFUL thick hair with a very pretty color. Now, it's been colored or "bleached" too much, the ends are razored and I have a brown crown around my head. Not to mention, my hair has lost some of it's thickness to the point that my hairdresser called it "fine"!!! This definitely contributed to the tear fest.

What did all of this mean? It meant that I made it to my car and then lost it. I walked into the house with a bright red face full of tears and Dave was bewildered. He did his best to make me feel better, but I know, in my heart of hearts, my hair looks like crap.

And now that I cried, I will be tired tomorrow. Not pregnancy tired, but tired from crying.

That was kind of long vent....but otherwise my life is magnificent!

September 29th?? October 2nd?? 7w3d

Happy Valentines Day to us!!!

What a day! Our ultrasound was at 2pm today, and it was just the best Valentine's Day gift we could have ever received. First, the pregnancy is viable!!! There was a baby, and a heartbeat, and s/he measured at 7W3D. I knew I was only 7-weeks along. It's always so nice when I'm right. This takes a bit of pressure off, however, earlier would be better because I'm in a wedding October 10th, and come hell or high water, I will be in that wedding!

When they were taking the measurements, the doctor asked the technician if she saw one or two sacs. Of course, I was on the edge of my seat hoping like hell she would say two. Of course David was like, "only one, right?" In the end, we have ONE beautiful baby growing in there today and we are thrilled beyond belief.

Immediately after the ultrasound, we met with our counselor and developed our plan. I am so excited that we actually have a plan!!!! I need to make some appointments tomorrow for the beginning of March, and then again mid-March. Words cannot describe our excitement.

I did ask the counselor if she thought our doctor would let me be induced a few weeks early, for the sake of my friends wedding, and she said "probably not. They prefer babies to bake as long as possible". I know it's a stretch, and probably horribly wrong to even ask, but I will. And know that I at least asked.

At this rate, it looks like we will be able to share our joy the week of March 24th. That's almost six-weeks from now....and I'm sure I'll be busting at the seems, but I'm planning to hold out that long. It will be worth the wait.

I'll post the pictures of the bean soon. It's kind of a zoomed in picture. At our March 18th appointment, she said we would get a really good picture, so that's cool :)