What A Difference A Year Makes

Today is October 15th. And a before our loss, I would never have known the significance of the day. But today I know.

October 15th is the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
http://www.october15th.com/

Tonight, we will light a candle and say a prayer and miss our little girl. Last year, for as much as I remembered the day, it was David who remembered to light the candle. I remember realizing why he had done it and just having been so deeply touched.

What a difference a year makes.

This year, we hold onto this perfect little baby boy who amazes me every day. I literally stare at him in awe. I am completely fascinated by his perfect little ears, and his adorable mouth. I love to just watch him while he's nursing. He makes the sweetest little faces and expressions. I adore watching him sleep, especially when he scrunches his face all angry and then in the next breath opens his mouth and laughs.

I think about how "perfect" he is. And while this brings me so much joy, the word perfect also hurts my heart. His older sister, while as beautiful as she was, was lost to a disease that uses the word "imperfect" to describe it. What a horrible irony.

But today we will remember Angela and we will hold on to Danny, and we will thank our lucky stars for both our babies. We know that Angela is Danny's angel, and that because of her, he is absolutely perfect.