November 15th

A year ago today was Angela's due date. Today she *should have/could have* been celebrating her first birthday. I don't want to sound ungrateful because I have so many blessings in my life, and I smile endlessly at how wonderful Danny is. I just have to accept that it will always suck. It will always hurt. And I will always miss her.

I just keep reminding myself, what a difference a year makes.

Early this morning after feeding Danny, I was trying to get him back down, his eyes were wide open. A few minutes later, just when I thought he was on the brink of falling asleep, bam, his eyes opened back up and gave me this incredible dimpled smile almost saying "GOTCHA!". I couldn't help but start laughing.

Here is a link to a song/video I like on You Tube. You can fast forward to about a 1:14, that's when the song starts. It's really pretty. I first heard this on January 16th, 2008. The next day marked six-months since we had lost Angela. I was hoping to be pregnant, and found out just days later that I was. Just hearing it gave me peace. It's a beautiful song. A Hundred Thousand Angels, by Bliss.

Here's to focusing on the HERE and NOW while staying snuggled in on a cold Saturday night with the two loves of my life.